ystd tok 2 my darling ling. long tym since i chatted with her. updated on lyf. n she help me get thru with wad im goin thru. she toked 2 me. n make me feel beta. i dint think bout nitin n my mind was clear. thx gal! aftr we put dwn de fone. i was sleepy. nt use 2 stayin up till late. so tucked myslef 2 bed. n slept. was awoken by a msg. he msged me.

di malam perpisahan, hatiku merasa gelisah.

ku ingin bersamamu. tapi tidak kesampaian.

ku tahu ini bukan salahmu.

malah ini smua salahku.

hatiku telah diketuk dgn seorang wanita yg sama sepertimu.

lalu aku tidak dapat memilih.

maafkan aku, jika ku telah menyakiti hatimu.

bkan maksud ku. tapi ini semua kerana hatiku.

ku harap faham syg.

jgnlah bersedih.

jika ada jodoh, kita akan bersama.

i was stunned n didnt noe wad 2 do. i took de courage 2 msg him bck. reality den came dwn 2 me. brekin up wasnt dat easy as it seemx. i cried. n taut 2 myself y m i crying 4 him. i jux cant 4get bout him. =(( in de end i slept. wen i woke up. de elmo which he gave lay bside me. i started 2 think bout him again. cried helplessly n fell bck 2 slip. was den awaken by momy. she ask 2 look aftr my dad's lunch. so i did. woke up n wash my face n brush my teeth. i look up 2 de mirror n saw sum1 hu wasnt me. my eyes were red. all puffy. i look weak n pale. shock, i went down. dad starin at my eyes. n asked wad hapen. i den replied with a quick smile, ouh i dint have a gd sleep ystd. wad a lie. but i didnt wan any1 2 noe wad im goin thru. pull my self 2gader n watch tv. den doin dis jux remind me of him. damn!

so as u can c. i have ignored my previous blog. n stated a new one. i wana change everitin in lyf. wana b sum1 beta nw. =)) ok. my paz. my heart was jux being broken by my bf. his my memoriex n dose were all dat is left 4 me. 6 mthx of relationship went wasted. i wonder y. he started goin 2 a new skul. new environment. so i gux met new frenx. boys+galx. i trusted him so much. n dis is wad he gave me bck in reutrn. damn. lyf is nvr fair. de way he ask 4 brek was so damn saddening la. i came 2 his skul. i miss him so much. n wanted 2 see him so much dat i wil do anitin 2 mit him so i went 2 skul. asked my cuzin, ada 2 eat with me at banquet. i was hungry n at de same tym wantin 2 mit him. but i dint noe wad i was about 2 get. he gt angry with me n decided 2 tell me de whole truth. gosh. it hurtx. de paz few daex b4 de brekup, i had tolerated with his change behaviour. i knew dat sth was amiss n alwaex taut dat he had another gal. but again i TRUSTED him. i kept on sayin dat his dere 4 me n would nt go 2 anoder gal. i cared 4 him n dint hear 2 any advices and continued being patient wif him. little do i noe dat sumone is goin aftr him n takin gd care of him n UNDERSTAND him more. wad a nyc thin 2 noe aftr al de sacrifices i made 4 him. all de help i had given him dis past 6th monthx. but i have 2 sae, de 6 mth was incredible. lyf was gr8 wit him. i have 2 sae he was one of de bex guy i met. he change my lyf in a sense dat i now noe how 2 stand 4 wads ryt. i thank him 4 de moments i had with him. ok bck 2 him. dough i noe dat sum how he have a gal with him. i jux wana hu she was. i noe its like wadeva 4? but i jux wana noe. mira ke nana ke? wadeva la. i wana noe. i noe im not supox 2 feel upset over dis matter again. but is jux very hard n painful. lucky thin during de brek up. my cuzin of mine was dere 2 comfort me. thx adawiyah. *loves* im gona be a diff person nw. n i wana stat on dis new motto, STAY HEALTHY!! sumhow i've been studyin about diseases n stufx. im soscared i be one. so ya i wana kip my self fit n healthy. will stat 2 eat vege(err??) n fruitx! i promix myself 2 eat junk food only 1dae in a week! n aftr dis week wil be goin 2 gym with wei-qi! whee. n aftr dat wil be puasa+attatchment! *smilex* k im outx now. plz pray 4 me dat i recover soon frm dis sicknexx. nobody's here 2 be my LOVE doctor.=((